


What Is It To Live?

by CallMeDeWitt



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Blade Runner - Freeform, Blood, Cyberpunk, Doubt, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Jon and Dany are robots, Jon and Dany want to be held, Jon broods A LOT, Jonerys, Replicants, Robots, Shit is not rainbows and happiness, Violence, What Have I Done, but they have necessary parts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-14 13:59:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15390261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeDeWitt/pseuds/CallMeDeWitt
Summary: The year is 2054, and the world has created robots with some of the most advanced AI possible. Their name? Replicants. These replicants are classified as slaves, and work until they die, but some choose to live. Kings Landing is one of the last sustainable cities left, and everyone has a job. One of the most important jobs are Blade Runners. They “retire” old replicants that out live their use, or go rouge. Officer J is one the best Blade Runners there is, but what happens when he’s tasked with retiring the last Targaryen replicant ever made. What happens when she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life?Pretty much mixing Blade Runner/Jonerys.





	1. Why?

**Author's Note:**

> Alright what the hell am I doing you may ask? I don’t know lol. After talking with Ghost_is_Dope last night ideas of mashups were brought up, and me being me thought of a blade runner mashup. Mainly because I love blade runner and Jonerys so much why the hell not mix the two. 
> 
> Now this won’t be a perfect blade runner piece. I’m more or less following it loosely to fit what I want to write. So you won’t be seeing Harrison Ford’s Deckard or Ryan Gosling’s Officer K :( 
> 
> This probably isn’t that great, I’m aware, but I had a lot fun doing it. Also I haven’t forgotten about The Dragons Will Rise, that is still my main story that I’m working on, and this exists because the next chapter for that is seriously kicking my ass. 
> 
> Anyway thank you so much Ghost_is_Dope for reading this over, and being all around great!!! Ghost_is_Dope also has an amazing story that you should read just sayin. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!!!

Chapter 1

 

He was running, running so fast no one could catch up to him. He was in the city of Winterfell again. A simple mining city nothing extravagant, but it was his home, or whatever exactly home meant. 

He had his favorite toy wolf clutched in his hand as tight as eight year old could hold. He was still running for however long until he ran through the front door of his house, or really where he was allowed to stay. 

He remembers his father, and mother dying, but he was so young it’s still fuzzy, much like this was becoming. His brothers, and sisters were taken to a different part of the world, he still doesn’t know where they are, but they’re most likely dead now. Like everyone else. 

This place he lives now though is cruel, and horrible. The guardian as he likes to be called treats every child as if they’re nothing but cattle, and wouldn’t care if they all died. Maybe he would though, someone would have to steal, and cook for him. 

He only lived here because he ran. When city officials were sent to take him, and what was left of his family away, they ran. His little brother Rickon was rounded up first, Bran second, Sansa third, Robb was fourth, but not after telling him, and Arya to run faster. Arya simply couldn’t though, she was finally taken, but not after the tears, and screaming. They all lived on the streets under bridges, alleyways, anywhere dark enough no one could see them, after their parents died. 

They finally saw them though, and after running from the officials the guardian found him, and now he lives with him. He takes in children who don’t have anywhere else to go. He personally doesn’t want to be here, but he at least gets food. 

After finally reaching the basement of the house he found the broken broiler, some of the kids he could hear were banging on the door to get in. He had to hide this though, maybe his family would find it if they weren’t dead. The guardian would call that wishful thinking though. 

He finally buried his wolf deep enough no one could find it. His father gave him a wolf toy for his birthday one year. It’s fuzzy but it may have been his fifth. It was white and had red eyes that he would simply stare at. This wolf which he named Ghost, was all he had left of them, and the last thing he wanted was for the guardian, or the kids to take him. 

They screamed his name, but it was becoming to fuzzy, and the sounds were becoming muffled. Five kids backed him into the opposite corner with hatred, and disgust on their dirty faces. It’s still muffled so he couldn’t hear what they said to him. But if the fear in his eyes was anything to go by it wasn’t good. 

No matter how many times he sees this he still doesn’t know why they did it, why they chased him, and why they beat him nearly to death. Kicking, punching, and one boy with a pipe started on him, he can’t hear, but he can see him screaming. But when the boy on top gets handed the pipe to put him out of his misery he always wakes up. 

 

“Ahhh!!” He woke up gasping for air, and shaking in the bed of his apartment, which had an entire view of the city he rarely used. For some reason though out of his control, this memory felt more real. He knows what he is, he knows that when he was made they put these memories in his head. Why these specific ones he may never know. 

He finally decided it was time get up, and at least be clean for his job. His job, it’s funny why certain replicants are made, some made for construction, some made to be simply servants, some made for the pleasure of what’s left of humanity, but all of them are classified as slaves, but him? He retires them. Retiring being a fancy word for killing. 

He does have a specific employer though “KLPD” the Kings Landing Police Department. He’s a Blade Runner, tasked with retiring replicants who outlive their usefulness, or specifically the job today, ones who are out of control. 

After getting ready, and pulling on his fur lined leather trench coat he headed to his car. The person he’s tasked with retiring was a farmer, and refused to be shut down, and ran. His captain finally got a lead on him, and discovered he was hiding in what was left of an artificial farm. Not much is there only a couple of shacks, and old solar panels. 

He wasn’t particularly interested in seeing the views of the city right now, so he put the car in autopilot, and decided to catch some sleep since his last dream left him a bit shaken. 

He finally awoke a couple hours later to the sight of thousands of retired solar panels, and was trying to determine where exactly this replicant was hiding. After flying for a couple more minutes he found it. An old beat down shack with a cropping tent for food attached to right of it. 

After determining no one was around he landed and had his KLPD commissioned camera fly out his car to record everything for his captain. 

He later walked up to the door, and put his ear to it, after hearing no one inside he decided to kick the door down. It landed with a great thud, and he discovered the shack was smaller than expected. 

A simple kitchen with bare necessities, a table with a chair by the only window, and a room with a bed, and a closet that led to the cropping tent. The only noise he could hear was a stew being bowled. He walked up to it to discover the contents was nothing but broth. He finally heard a different noise that sounded like it came from the tent, and decided to take seat by the table, and wait. 

Finally the replicant walked in, and he noticed he was a lot larger than he had thought. “This will be more difficult” he thought to himself. The man finally turned his head to look at him. After a minute of looking realization hit his face. 

 

“So they finally found me?” He said confidently 

 

“They did” he simply said, hoping this wouldn’t be too difficult. “It always is though” he told himself. 

 

“Why?” The man asked sadly 

 

“You know why” he replied 

 

The man scoffed and said bitterly “Because I want to live!” 

 

“You blade runners are just like us, they made you, they control you, tell you what to say, how to act, and what to feel!” He exclaimed angrily stepping a bit to close for his liking. 

 

“You seriously think you’re different? Why cause you work for them?!” Nearly 100 inches from his face he decided to pull out his KLPD blaster on, and put it on the table in attempt to silence him. 

It seemed to work, because he backed off a little bit. He regained some composure, and said 

 

“Do you even know what living really is?” Truthfully, no he didn’t. He worked, went to his apartment, and did the same the very next day. Every replicant he retires says that though. He originally thought it was some sort of defense mechanism, but after countless replicants said this he started to believe it. They wanted to live, to not be a slave, they simply wanted to be happy, and he was killing them for it. It was slowly starting to eat at him as much as he hated to admit it, every time recently when he pulled the trigger he was imagining himself. What if he was to become one of them? Out live his usefulness, and runaway to live a life he wanted to live. He knew the ending to that though. A bullet in his head, so he pushed that down, and said 

 

“No I don’t. But I’m sure you’re living a grand life here. But this is my life, and yes it may be wrong to you and the rest of us, but this is what I was made for, so please make this easier for the both of us, and turn around, and get on your knees” 

 

He cracked his neck, and said “No” 

When he said that he rushed him into the wall behind him while he was still in chair. His head hit the wall with force, and he grunted in pain. He started elbowing him in the back to get him off, after the sixth one he finally backed enough for him to tackle the man to the ground. When he had the man on the ground he grabbed by him by the throat, and started punching him repeatedly in the face. When blood started to spew out his right eyebrow, and nose this enraged him, so he dodged to the left, and rolled him off top of him. When he saw his gun still on the table, he started crawling as fast as he could to grab it, when he reached for the gun, the man grabbed his leg with enough force he got pulled directly into his fist. When he hit him his head was raddled, and he had buzzing noise in his ear, and he felt the blood coming out his nose. After deciding hitting him constantly was boring he put his hands around his neck, and lifted him off the ground into the air. This man was to strong for him he concluded, when he looked to the bowling broth he decided that was his chance. He started kicking him in the chest to get his hands off of his neck. The man finally let go, and he ran towards the broth, he picked up the pot, and threw the bowling broth in the mans face. 

 

“AHHHHH!!!” He screamed at the top his lungs. He backed up against the wall leading into the next room, so he decided to grab the gun from the table. When he cocked, and aimed the gun the man was blindly charging at him while screaming. He fired two shots in his chest, but that still didn’t stop him from spearing him in the torso against the opposite wall. He picked him up in the air, turned them both around, and ran towards the other wall. They both crashed through the wall, and all the air left him. The man lifted his bloodied, and burned face to continue his onslaught, but he finally came back to life for a couple seconds when he realized he still had his gun in his left hand. He aimed it directly at his head and shot three times. 

The mans body was on top of him dead. Blood going all over him. He finally got enough strength to push him off. He got on one knee, and looked at the dead man before him. He just wanted to live, be free, and he killed him for that. What was he doing? Why? 

 

 

•••

 

After he confirmed the death he got in his car to go to the station. He was in no mood for flying, but he needed to be able navigate the city, so he sucked it up tried to enjoy the rainy, grey view. Cars flying past, buildings high in the sky with neon advertisements giving the city the only color. His captain says Kings Landing used to be beautiful, breathtakingly beautiful even, but the state it was now, that statement was hard to believe. The year was 2054, and life was hard. The original Replicant life spans were cut short to make more newer versions. Ones that didn’t take long to die, and were easier to control. He himself wasn’t one these newer versions, but he never once showed any wavering in his actions “Until recently you started thinking more” that damned voice in his head said. People were simply using replicants to get paid, or for their own pleasure. People dying in the streets was normal now, people stealing, and selling anything they could get their hands on was everyday. Looking at this city made ones mind wander even him. He finally saw the station high in the sky, KLPD proudly stamped on the front. He finally found a spot to park his car, so he could debrief, and maybe sleep tonight. 

 

As he entered the station, the people around would stare at him. As if he had a choice to be made, and what he does, or who he is. 

 

“Filthy fucking robot” one of the police officers said in passing to him. It didn’t affect like it did once. He finally found his captains office, and knocked on the door. “Come in!” He could hear him shout. He opened the door and walked in. The captain was drinking most likely scotch, and had a tired look on his. 

 

“Welcome back Officer J” he said happily while toasting to him. “You like shit I must admit” He beaconed for him to sit, but he declined. 

 

Captain Davos started to shake his head, and with a heavy sigh said 

 

“You know you deserve to at least sit down you know.” He pointed at him with a glass of scotch in hand, and said “Especially after the day you seemed to have” he was right, he had a shit day. His face hurt, his body hurt, but he just wanted to know if Davos had anything new for him. 

 

“With respect captain I would like to know if you have anything new for me” 

 

After downing the entire glass he put it down and handed him a tablet “Well since you don’t believe in taking a day off I suppose I have that” 

 

What he did have was interesting. It was another replicant, but this one seemed different. It was a woman, she had striking silver hair, and honestly the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, them being a sharp violet color. But he realized what this was. 

 

“Why does a Targaryen unit need retiring?” He asked while looking at her with furrow in his brow. 

 

“Because we don’t need them anymore. Why?”

 

He finally tore his eyes away from her to look at his captain “I thought we kept Targaryens. I know some of them have gone rouge in the past, but we’ve handled that. They were important, some were scientists, teachers, researchers, people we needed.” His captain gave a heavy sigh while he walked over to get another drink. 

 

“You’re right, but after Viserys Targaryen grabbing a knife, and stabbing his fellow scientist in the neck for *Waking the Dragon* Whatever that means, they’re manufacture has discontinued them. And that lady there is the last one left” his captain said while taking a seat 

 

He was right, for some reason there was a glitch in their programming that caused this anger. But thankfully it didn’t happen often, but apparently enough was enough, and they were stopping it. But looking at this woman she looked so beautiful, so harmless, he wondered if she had that glitch. If he would go off the picture he would say no. She was smiling at the camera, all of her teeth showing while she was hugging two children. He assumed she may have been a service replicant, but her intelligence on her charts was through the roof. It seemed like a waste for her. She could do a lot more he thought, but his captain brought him back to reality. 

 

“This one should be an easy in and out, we have an idea on her location. We believe she may be in the slums of the city held up in one of the apartments. Find her, retire her understood?” 

 

He went back to look at her again when he asked “What’s her name?” 

 

Davos has clear confusion in his eyes “You never ask if they have names, why now?” 

 

Thinking quickly of the best excuse he could come up with “She a Targaryen, they normally name them I was just curious” 

 

Confusion still clear on his face “Daenerys, Daenerys Targaryen” 

 

*Daenerys* he said the multiple times in head as if committing it to memory. He didn’t know why, but she was captivating, and that was dangerous, very dangerous. No matter how beautiful she looked or the future she could’ve had he had a job, and he was going to do it. “Alright I’ll start work on it tomorrow” he finally said. He gave the tablet back to Davos 

 

“Thanks lad, be careful you hear me?” He exclaimed, but he was already gone out the room. Why was he acting like this? He’s never felt this before. Maybe because the job was weighing on him hard these past couple of months, maybe because he was tired, and wanted this over already, or maybe because he didn’t want too. What his mind said next scared him. This was how rogues start out, thinking too much, and doing stupid things that called people like him to kill. What did the voice say they though? 

 

“I don’t want too”


	2. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Officer J struggles more with his own thoughts, and he finally meets Daenerys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I said I was going to work on this after my main story got updated, and shockingly I actually did it lol.
> 
> A warning before the chapter starts, this chapter is a little rough, the world that these 2 are living in is a horrible one, so the events in their lives are also horrible. 
> 
> Also listening to “Only Ones Who Know” by Arctic Monkeys seriously set the mood for the end of this chapter lol. 
> 
> Also I’m gonna remind everyone again  
>  Ghost_Is_Dope is amazing, just straight up amazing. He also has a story that you can read just sayin (it’s amazing btw) 
> 
> So finally here’s this chapter, I sincerely hope you guys enjoy!!!

Chapter 2 

 

When he stepped through his apartment door, the day was starting to catch up with him. His head hurt, his ribs hurt, his hand hurt from beating that replicant half to death, and the stench he was putting off was enough for him to smell himself. Peeling off his jacket was proving to be difficult because of the pain, but after finally getting his injured hand out of one arm of the jacket it was easier. Putting the jacket on the chair near the tv that never turns on (nothing interesting, other than more news of pain and misery that truthfully he can live himself). He decided a shower would be best, especially for the day he was going to have tomorrow. 

After taking off every piece of clothing slowly he chunked them in the old beat down washing machine that would most likely not get any of the blood out. 

Finally stepping into the shower the first thing he noticed when warm water hit his back was the blood. It was a mix of his, and the replicants. His mind was starting to going back to that dangerous place again, the place that had him doubting what he was even doing. And what was he doing? Waking up every day, going to the station, and being called every horrible thing you can possibly name cause he wasn’t “born”. Getting an assignment from his captain to “retire” another life. Why was he made for this? Why was he thinking on his own? These feelings were normal in replicants, and it’s what got them killed, and why people like him were made. 

Who made him? Lannister corporation. Run by Cersei Lannister herself, but in reality her brother Tyrion was the real mastermind. He’s been designing every replicant for almost 25 years. His ideas for them were revolutionary for humans, the perfect slave. Only problem is that some replicants wanted more, wanted a life. So Blade Runners were made. 

It’s strange knowing who made you, who physically brought your life into this world, not like a mother giving birth, no made. Made to kill, made to listen, made to be quiet. 

It’s becoming harder and harder now. The only sense of comfort that he can possibly receive right now is the water gliding off of him. Only the blood isn’t coming off of his hands. This isn’t his blood, this is the blood of another replicant he murdered. Deciding he’s seen enough he starts to scrub everything off of him. It takes him longer than it normally does, cause most of the time the replicants he kills don’t fight back as hard. How long he’s in the shower he doesn’t know but his mind starts wandering back to those violet eyes, the silver hair that looked so soft in that photo, he wanted to run his fingers through, the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen. The woman he has to kill tomorrow... Daenerys Targaryen. Her name keeps being repeated in his head over and over again as if trying to ingrain it in head forever. Why does this woman have this effect on him? The only logical reason he can come up with is because of his current dangerous mindset. 

Finally getting out of the shower he gets a good look at himself in the mirror. His grey eyes look tired, he has dark circles under them. Wrinkles from stress are starting to appear on his forehead. His injured nose is swollen and is starting to turn slightly purple, his long black curls are unruly, and the short beard he’s grown has become a mess. In short he looks like absolute shit. After trying to brush his curls and shaving a little bit of the beard he heads back into his bedroom. There’s not much here, just a bed, a lamp on a nightstand, and a closet with clothes, and finally truthfully a decent view of the city. 

He would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t enjoy the view. At night you can see all the neon signs, the cars flying in the sky with their headlights on, the buildings high in the sky with lights still on, because of the people working a late shift. He also has a perfect view of the station, KLPD shines bright in blue lettering. It used to give him comfort, to have a sense of purpose, something you do and knowing you’re damn good at, now it’s becoming the source of all of his headaches that are becoming more painful day by day. 

Deciding he’s had enough of today he carefully crawls into bed hoping to get at least an ounce of sleep. 

 

••• 

 

He was running again only this time he wasn’t a child, he was himself as he was now. He had a bullet womb on his right shoulder and the blood was starting to cascade down him. He remembered this, because it actually happened. 

The captain gave him an decently easy assignment, a replicant held up in somewhere in the city in a run down apartment complex. It was simple, go in and retire him. Only it wasn’t. 

The replicant who’s name was “Daniel” he would later find out, was a service maid. Their job was to keep up with the house, take care of the children, and any other job required of them. Well apparently Daniel was tired of this and left the family he was caring for late at night. He wasn’t the only one who left, he apparently took the daughter as well. Normally police handle this type of hostage situation but this one was different. Normally replicants don’t kidnap children. 

There wasn’t going to a be discussion, there was only going to be killing, so why not get one of your best? 

Walking threw the apartment door he realized Daniel didn’t really plan well. It was a shit house to put it lightly. The stench was terrible along with nothing being organized. A dinner table flipped over along with broken chairs, the couch was in horrible shape and trash everywhere. After not hearing or seeing them he heads into the bedroom. He stops dead in his tracks at what he sees. 

Daniel has a gun pointed directly in his direction, while the girl has her head peaked over the bed while she’s hiding behind. 

 

“Daniel” he says calmly while putting both of his hands up “I need you to put the gun down” 

 

“Why? Just so you can kill me and take her!” Daniel says with anger in his voice

 

“I don’t want to do that, I just want to take her away from here, and give her back to her family” 

 

“You want to take her back there?” Daniel scoffed “I’m her family!” He exclaimed 

 

“No you’re not, you’re made for service. Not to be family” he said in a stern voice “Now put the gun down now” 

 

“No, I’m her family” he said with desperation 

 

Giving up on him he turned his attention to the little girl “What’s your name?” 

 

“Jenna” her little voice squeaked 

 

“Jenna do you want to go home?” He simply asked

 

“Yes” Jenna said quietly 

 

Daniel had look of pain on his face “What? I thought you wanted this.” 

 

She shook her head no. Daniel got on his knees and put the gun on the floor while looking at her. While he did this Jenna jumped up and over the bed and into his arms. 

 

“Why? I can take care of you, I’ll be there for you. You know your parents aren’t!” Daniel exclaimed with desperation

 

“She wants to go home Daniel, let me take her home. You want her safe and happy don’t you?” 

 

Daniel nodded slowly 

 

“This isn’t that place, I’m sorry you just can’t give that to her” he said while Jenna hid her head in the crook of his neck

 

“She’s all I care about” Daniel said with tears starting to form in his eyes 

 

“If you care about her let her go.” He said with a slight hint of pleading 

 

“Fine but you make sure she’s safe” Daniel said with sadness in his voice. 

 

Daniel stood up and turned his body to him. When he started to leave the room he had his back turned to him and he started to hear Daniel move, when he turned Daniel had his gun pointed to him. In attempt to shield Jenna he turned his back to him and started to run out the door “YOU CAN’T TAKE HER!” 

BANG!!! The pain coming out of his shoulder was excruciating. He dropped Jenna on the floor and he started to crawl towards her in an attempt to see if she was okay. He could tell she wasn’t moving, and couldn’t see if she was breathing or not. Finally reaching her he finally saw the blood. When he turned his back and the bullet penetrated his shoulder it must have..... hit her. Panic started flowing threw his veins

 

“Jenna!” He exclaimed while grabbing her face with one hand, while the other was investigating the womb. The pain in his shoulder was becoming numb by the adrenaline. Finally getting a good look at the womb, the bullet went straight threw his shoulder into Jenna’s heart. 

 

“NO!!!” Daniel exclaimed whil watching the scene with the gun still in his hand

 

“You did this” Daniel snarled while lifting his hand up to aim but he was just a little faster and was able to pull his gun out his hostler and started firing off shots while gaining cover in the hallway. Getting a glance at the little girl lying on the floor so many emotions ran threw him. Why being the prominent one. Why did he take her? Why didn’t he just listen and let him take her away from here. None of that mattered now, a little girl dyed that night because of him. 

Hearing a couple a sirens he knew backup had finally arrived, but then he heard a crash. Peaking head into the he saw that Daniel had jumped out the window. Deciding to finally end this himself he got up and ran towards the window and jumped out. 

Running that’s all he could do, the pain was back and hurting more and more with every step he took. He was running after him in a long ally way with a chain fence at the end. Sirens, and the voice of his captain filled the night sky while he was running. 

The figure of man behind the chain link fence stopped both of him in his tracks. Was it him? 

The figure ran towards the fence and jumped over it in an instant. Daniel turned around but before he could even threaten him with his gun Daniel was shot. Blood started to appear out the center of his chest and Daniel just stood there. The figure got behind and kicked him the back of the knee so Daniel was on his knees, he pointed his gun to his head and fired. 

He was dead, both of them.... dead 

“Ahhh Officer J! What a pleasure” the figure while finally coming into the light

 

“Ramsay” he simply said hoping to avoid any conversation 

 

“They took the girl, putting her in the morgue and they’ll call her parents soon” 

 

Not wanting to discuss his failure he decided to leave, but Ramsay’s voice stopped him 

 

“It’s right to blame yourself! If it was me he would’ve died a lot sooner” of course he would Ramsay was a blade runner like him but he was far more cruel in his retiring. Captain Davos didn’t particularly like him at all, but he was an amazing tracker. In fact the only reason they got a scent of Daniel was because of Ramsay. So he would kill while Ramsay tracked. When he did kill he took pleasure in it, he never just shot them to end it quickly, he liked prolonging it, savoring it. Needless to say he didn’t like him, but his thoughts were interrupted when his captain stopped him. 

 

“You alright son?” He asked with concern heavy in his voice 

 

“I just need this fixed” he said pointing to his shoulder

 

Davos nodded and was about to say more but he stopped him “I don’t want to hear it” 

 

“It wasn’t your fault, we were slow, we should’ve been here sooner” Davos said with regret in his voice

 

“But you weren’t, and I still handled it” Ramsay said coming up behind him 

 

“Not now Ramsay” Davos said with authority 

 

He put his hands in a mock surrender “I’m just pointing out captain, I think Officer J here is losing his touch” he said with a disgusting smirk 

 

“Enough! J go to the doctor and get help, Ramsay shut your mouth before I personally do it for you” Davos said with anger in eyes while pointing to Ramsay 

 

“Ok, I’ll shut up” 

 

Davos nodded his head “Good, now I have to report all this if you need me come and find me” 

 

Both men nodded, and when he was starting to walk off when Ramsay got in his ear 

 

“You know if you don’t start doing your job correctly, guess who they’re gonna send to kill you?” 

 

*GASP* he awoke with a sharp intake of breath and was breathing heavily, sweat pouring down his entire body. He hadn’t had that dream in a while, and he may just found the night that his mind started to doubt everything he was doing. Trying to shake it off he arose from the bed with one goal. Go to Flea Bottom, find Daenerys Targaryen, and do his damn job. 

 

•••

 

Flea Bottom was the scrap part of Kings Landing, the poor came here as there wasn’t anywhere else to go. The homeless living on the streets begging for anything from money, food, and shelter. It was the perfect place to hide in the city, but apparently it wasn’t good enough. 

Finally parking the car in a alley way, he got out and got a good look of the building in front of him. It was an old abandoned soup kitchen, most likely abandoned because whoever ran it couldn’t afford it. Glass was broken on the three story building, it also looked like there was a small fire that had happened by the look of a couple of windows on the second floor. There was also no door anymore, so to untrained eye this place held no more life. 

Walking in to the building he was treated to a rotten smell hitting his nose, most likely the food left behind from years of being abandoned. Waisting no time he walked up the stairs. From years of doing this he only assumed she was on the third floor. With every step he took his mind told him to turn around, he didn’t trust himself anymore. What was he going to do when he found her? He thought he had decided when he woke up this morning but his mind wouldn’t stop telling him no. Trying to get some sort of control of himself he entered the third floor. 

There weren’t many rooms maybe ten max and most of them had nothing in them. Quietly walking to the final door he noticed this one was shut, she had to be in here he thought. Putting his good hand on the knob he opened it ever so slowly, when there was enough room he peaked his head through to look inside. 

Not surprisingly it the room was trashed, a disgusting kitchen made up most of the space, but there was a hallway to the left leading into another room. Silently walking in he made for the room. This was actually happening he thought, his breathing was becoming unsteady and his manufactured heart beating rapidly. 

Finally stopped in front of the closed door he made an attempt to open it. With every muscle in his body clenched he opened it quietly. Instead of peaking in he opened the door fully making sure it didn’t hit the opposite wall. 

There she was, sleeping peacefully on the floor with a dirty blanket to cover herself with. Her silver hair was striking, it would’ve been hard not to notice her in a crowd of people. She was also smaller than he thought she would be. Her back was turned to him, and his right hand was shaking when he put it on the holstered gun. Closing the door silently with his left hand he put his back against the closed door and slid down to the floor. 

She looked so peaceful, with every small sleeping breath she took his head was hurting. “I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this” he kept repeating his head over and over. Putting both his hands on his head he looked down to floor. 

 

“Why? Why? Why?” he said quietly. Hoping for someone to answer him. Who did he turn to when he needed something? His captain? No, he wouldn’t understand. People like him aren’t killed for thinking on their own. The fake implanted memory’s of a family that didn’t exist? No, even his fake memories people die because of him. Maybe Daenerys could help, maybe she would understand, maybe she could help his head hurting all the time, maybe she could help him fall asleep at night when all he could think about was everyone he’s killed, maybe she could attempt to make him smile at least once in his life. No, that’s a life he can’t live, a life he didn’t deserve. It didn’t stop him from voicing a “Please” from his lips. 

To his horror she turned over with those violet eyes he thought about one to many times open in shock to him. She quickly backed up to the wall while still in a sitting position. Her breathing was unsteady and filled with panic. 

 

With a swallow she said “You’re here to kill me aren’t you?” She said with a low and quiet voice, he hated to hear it filled with panic and fear, because he was the reason for it. 

 

He could only nod once. 

 

She looked to the her small hands as they started to fidget uncontrollably “I don’t know why I thought I could get away” she scoffed when she added “Silly hopes and dreams I suppose” she said with a sad smile and tears threatening her violet eyes. 

 

He straightened himself and asked something he never once dared asked “Why did you run?” He said in almost a whisper. 

 

She wiped her eyes and looked up to the ceiling “The family I served was amazing, they treated me as if I was apart of their family. Like I was a distant relative.” Tears started to fall “”But the husband and wife didn’t have a happy marriage let’s just say” she wiped her face again “The husband most of the time never spoke to her and the same for the wife. I don’t know what happened between them, but the love that I saw was long gone this past year. The wife would stay late at work and he would do the same, so I spent most of the time with the kids” she finally smiled at that. She really did have a beautiful smile. “Jacob and Samantha, I loved them with everything that I had, but I...... I had to go” she looked at him with a sense of pleading in her eyes “I had to leave” tears started appearing again. 

 

“What happened?” He questioned 

 

Trying to dry her face she said “Jacob and Samantha were at a friends house and he came home early, the past couple of months he would stare at me longer than appropriate, he’d touch my shoulder and tell me how beautiful I was. I tried to ignore it but it was becoming obvious.” She took a deep breath before continuing “He came home and told me to follow him into the bedroom. After I followed him in there he shut the door.” He knew what this man wanted, it’s happens more times than he can count, and it made him sick. He was about to tell her to stop but she kept going, he only assumed this was her way of getting it all out before he ended it, to tell someone how horribly she was treated. 

 

“He started touching my arms and caressing me like I was a piece of MEAT!” She exclaimed with tears flooding her eyes “He told me to take off my clothes, let him show me how beautiful he thought I was” her breathing was so erratic and uneven it was starting to scare him a bit “I said NO, you shouldn’t do this, you can’t! It didn’t stop him though. He pushed me on the bed and started to choke me, when he was about to go further his wife busted through the door” her head hung low when she continued “She screamed at us both, started to attack him. After he was off of me she started to call me a whore” a losing battle of tears came down from her eyes “I finally got away and ran, I always hoped one day I could be something for myself, be more and live.” Those words hit him harder than anything, she wanted to leave anyway, but not like that.... not like that. 

 

“I couldn’t even say goodbye to the kids, just to tell them I loved them and it wasn’t their fault. I left them.” Daenerys was crying so hard now everything in him told him to comfort her in some way, any way possible, but it would be useless. So he settled for

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” she starting shaking her and looked at him 

 

“I’m really receiving pity from someone who’s sole purpose is to kill someone like me” she had a sad smile “You must be messed up too” she had no idea 

 

Straightening herself she asked “Can I at least know your name?” 

 

Did he have a name? Most of the time he just answered to anything people called him   
“Officer J” he plainly said 

 

Daenerys squinted her still red eyes “That’s not a name” 

 

It wasn’t but it was the only he could think even close to name “I wasn’t given a name” 

 

She looked down “Everyone needs a name” 

 

“I don’t” 

 

Daenerys looked up at him, and something close to a smile showed “How about Jon? At least that way I’ll know who killed me” 

 

That stung deep, deep into every part of him “If that makes it easier for you” 

 

Tears started again and she had a look of content on her face “Just a little” she said quietly. 

 

She then got on her knees and asked tearfully “Will it be quick?” 

 

The threat of tears started to form in his eyes when he nodded slowly “yes” it was the least he could do, just make it quick Jon he said to himself. He shocked himself when he used the name Jon in his own thoughts. 

 

He pulled out his gun and aimed at her, she had her eyes closed and the stream of tears started to form on her cheeks. It was to much, to damn much. 

 

“Turn around please” he said with his voice heavy with regret and pain. She did as instructed, but it wasn’t gonna make it easier. Getting closer, the barrel of the gun hovering on her head. Every thought in his head was scrambled. Do it get it over with. No don’t! Let her go, his thoughts pleaded. Gritting his teeth and forcefully pulling the hammer back on the pistol he put the gun to her head. She didn’t deserve it, she didn’t deserve any of this. No one did. How long has he been killing? He can’t even remember. He just remembers there was always a pistol in hand and a dead thing in front of him. I don’t want to he kept saying to himself, I don’t want to. 

 

“Go” he said putting the pistol back in it holster. She turned around with a shocked look on her face. 

 

“What?” She said frantically

 

“I said go, get away from here. I don’t care where you go just leave here.” 

 

She stood and looked into his eyes “Really?” 

 

“Yes go to Winterfell or somewhere, someplace they can’t track you as easily” he pleaded 

 

“Why are you letting me go” she questioned seriously

 

“Because I’m tired of killing people who just want to live. Now go please!” he pleaded again. To his surprise she hugged him. She hugged him so tight he could barely breath. He didn’t mind though, her warmth sent something to his very core he’s never felt before. Savoring every second of her she finally let go and with tears said “Thank you Jon” and like that she was gone. Hopefully she would find something out there, hopefully she would smile, find happiness, and live. 

 

•••

 

He was getting in his car when he noticed a figure across the street. With the darkness he couldn’t see the person, but what sent a wave of terror and shock was what the person did. 

He waved directly at him.

It was him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO WAVED?!?! WHO FUCKING WAVED?!?? Lol you guys will probably figure it out lol. 
> 
> So there’s that did you enjoy? Did you hate it? Let me know! But if you’re a dick I won’t reply LUL 
> 
> There’s nothing down there in the comments, only the possibility of having a great conversation with me! Which is good right? Right? No? Well shit never mind.

**Author's Note:**

> There it is!!! What is it trash? Shitty? or trash shitty? Let me know in the comments!!! This won’t be updated that regularly just a warning lol. 
> 
>  
> 
> Btw I want that damn jacket I described.


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